[Papperstrassel]

Today was not an especially good day. All this old shit resurfaced at school and I just thought I was really through with it. It's funny how we're always surprised by our selves. It was really hard, I got quite emotional and I just needed someone there. I got a good hug from J, and it was nice, it came with an apology that I did not require but it was still nice. But really I needed someone else there. Someone I can't have close. All I have is a promise.

I'm asking myself "How will I cope with this?" and I don't know. I'm hoping it'll all just pass. Hoping we won't talk about it that much, cause I guess I just want to bury it again. I thought I'd gotten rid of it but apparently it was still there all along, waiting under the surface. I don't need this right now.

But a good thing is that I'm becoming really more focused on school. Eager to study to get my good grades. If not something else it is a way to make time pass. I think I'm going to read a little now, that's all I've got energy for.