future

I just have a few thoughts that I would like to share with you, and you definately don't have to listen. It's just cause I really want to get it out of me.

I'm thinking a lot about my life. About my future. I don't care so much about what happens right now, cause I feel that it will work out fine in the future. I know how I want to be. Personality wise. I can see my self in the future coming home from work, what I'm wearing, how I move and present my self and all that. And I can really see my apartment. I'm not sure exactly what I want to do for a living, I just don't see it in my vision, but I know it'll be all right.

And I'm positive that I will end up with a realy good guy that I love and who loves me (have I already found the one? <3). What I am very torn up about right now is having a baby. I do think I want children (I just want one but...), but I'm just wondering if it's worth giving up your position as number one? I mean, you have this wonderful person who you mean the world to, and who loves you more than anything. And the second that baby pops out, it's changed. Then the baby is the most important all of a sudden. Do you really want that?

I'm still very young and I shouldn't think that just because it's been like that so far it'll be like that for the rest of my life. But I've found it very hard to feel loved and appreciated by people. Maybe it's just cause I haven't been, I don't know. But I just feel that if you are lucky to find someone who does, and who really loves you for who you are, why do you want to share that love with someone else? I don't know. It's just the way I've been thinking lately.

Any by the way, maybe I can't even have a baby. Everyone takes it for granted, that when they want they can have a baby. That it's completely up to them to decide, but it isn't always like that. Oh, horrible thought. What if I can't get pregnant? At the same time as it's not the end of the world, I would still be horribly sad if it was like that. But no one ever thinks like that. It's strange.



Here's two of the apartments I've found on my recent search. I like them, and I'd want to live in something like this.


http://objekt.fastighetsbyran.se/Templates/Pages/ObjectImages.aspx?ObjektGID=OBJ5402_1008284958&IsSurroundings=false

http://www.maklarhuset.se/ViewObjekt.aspx?objektid=485396&view=Images


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