[Papperstrassel]

I am so stressed out. I don't think I've ever felt like this before. This melancholy is killing me. I'm sitting at my desk trying to write this chronicle for tomorrow. And I am actually passionate about my subject, but I'm just not moving forward. Sure, I write a couple of lines, and I'm filling up the paper but it has no content. I say my opinions, but where did I lose my language knowledge. I'm often a good writer, he usually think of my work as good. I can't lose it now, not this once when we're supposed to read my text out loud. I'm scared, really scared.

But mostly I think about you. You keep my mind off of everything else that I do. I can't practice without you in my head, I can't study with my head clear. If I'd known the affect you've made on me I probably wouldn't have done what I did. But done is done. I can't change it and I just have to try and get you out of my head.

But back to the stress. I know this is really bad, and I can assure you that I won't do this, but I really feel like smoking. And drinking for that matter. Just to release the stress a bit. I don't want to give you any ideas or something, I know that this is the one time you absolutely shouldn't drink or smoke. I won't. I really won't. But I do feel like it a lot.

God, this is hard. Really, really hard. Soon, I'm going to get fat, cause I can't sit still and instead of smoking or drinking, I eat. Not such a good idea either, but I don't know what else to do. I'm going to study a bit more right now and then I'll probably watch a movie. I did the same thing yesterday and then I fell asleep, so I didn't have to sit around waiting all day.

Thought I'd upload a picture of some flowers I shot in Tunisia. Maybe it can reduce my stress?

I was supposed to write yesterday, but I was too lazy to upload a picture so I didn't.

I woke up yesterday morning and began to unpack my bag. I usually have a suitcase lying on my floor a long time after I come home from a vacation, so I thought I'd change that. After finishing that I cleaned the bathroom and vacuum cleaned the whole house.

And after that I had to go to the pharmacy, something I couldn't really tell my parents so I said I would go out for a walk. Everything was fine until I came to the pharmacy and found what I was looking for. It was really expensive and I was 10 kronor short. So I called my sister and asked if she were on her way home, so that she could lend me some money. She wasn't. But she asked me if I wanted to tag along and get a piercing. I've planned to get one for a while, after coming home from Tunisia, so I went along. And now I have a piercing in my bellybutton. It burns a little, and I have to be very careful about movements. I'm a little worried about training and stuff, I can't really tell people in case they would tell my parents, but I guess it'll be fine. 
   It hurt a little bit, but it was alright. Afterwards the guy who pierced us asked me if I was feeling dizzy. I wasn't, so I said no. And right when I'd stopped talking I started to feel dizzy. He was like: "Feel free to lay down." And I remember thinking that maybe I should. Then it was like I was dreaming, with the same thing that's always on my mind at the moment (for me to know and for you to not find out). And I wake up and see four faces just staring at me, while I'm lying down in the piercing studio. I understood that I'd fainted and I just started laughing, I don't know why. But it sure was funny. Don't you think? It might have something to do with eating less than half a sandwich and not drinking anything for the whole day. But I didn't just faint, they told me. I got like this epileptic seizure. I was like "you should have filmed it!". HAHA.

Sorry if the picture's disgusting. I like the jewelry, I thought I'd get this really ugly thing but I think it really looks good.