[Papperstrassel]

It's not easy being here in England. I love most of it, the people especially. They are really polite and nice and welcoming and outgoing. But the food is horrible. This morning I got dizzy after breakfast, just cause it was too much sugar in it. Everything is just fat, nothing contains any energy and in addition to that I'm sitting here eating biscuits and candy. It's dangerous. I'd go fat living in this country.

I haven't even spoken about the golf. But really I'm here for England cause golf I can play at home.

Yet another day has passed and soon we're going home again I guess. The weather could have been both better and worse, but at least it didn't rain. The course wasn't the best condition and it was actually quite boring.

But tomorrow we're playing at Royal Liverpool and it is nice. It's going to be loads of fun. And we're getting to sleep a bit longer too. Nice =)

I've just finished two days of golf camp and tomorrow we're off to Liverpool. Really this camp was supposed to be four days, but I had to be in school the two first. It was fun, but tiring. Now I'm trying to pack my stuff, it's really boring and it'll end up with me not bringing anything of importance. I just know it. But I'm not going to pack too much, like I usually do. 
   I'm just so tired, it's not a good time thinking about this. But I'm a little confused, yesterday I was barely tired and then I'd slept for maybe three hours. But last night I went to bed at eleven, and now I'm so tired! I woke up tired and it never stopped.

Oh well, there's internet access to the hotel so you'll hear from me I guess. I'm bringing my computer so.. Yes, my focus is absolutely a hundred percent on the golf! Hrm*

I feel so hopeless. Really I don't know what to do. And this morning I played really bad again and I just feel so failed. I don't have anything.

No, I won't sit here and complain. I changed my piercing today. It was more expensive than I thought, but what the hell. I have to clean it better I think, so that the redness disappears completely so that I can swim as fast as possible. Haha. No, really I don't care about that.. They didn't have any colours in my size at the moment so I just got one like the one I had.

It's 1 o'clock, in the night. I'm waiting for my love to connect, he was going away for a while, but he promised me he would return, so...

Things was not as I thought they were, which is good. But I'm still quite upset, but it will pass, I know that. So do not despair!

I just have this horrible pain in my knee. It just came very sudden when I bent down at the golf course to pick something up. It just sort of radiated through my knee and since then I can't really bend it or put to much pressure on it. Sure, there's always something wrong with my knees but this is one of the worst it's ever been and it hurts in another way now..

Well, I'm going to go continue waiting, feels as though I should retreat to my bed and wait there. Even though the risk is I'll fall asleep if I do...

I just thought I'd write while I remembered to. It's nine o'clock and I got back from practice about an hour ago. It was fun, but so cold. I could barely unlock my locker when we were finished. But me, J and E had a good time so it doesn't really matter. And it went kind of well too.

I'm going to read the last pages of my book now (I've got about half the book left). It's in German and it's a little bit harder than the books everyone else chose. I just chose it because it was a book that sounded more interesting than the other ones. And tonight I have to both finish it and write about it. So I've got some things to do for the next two hours. Plus I should read some History, but when will I have the time for that?

School is killing me..

Today I woke up at eleven. Really late to be me. But it's nice sleeping, since I don't really do that at night anymore. It's already Tuesday evening and the break is quickly passing by as always. But today I've actually done something. I've studied a little bit. I read in my book for 30 minutes. And I strongly believe that the more I read the more I will want to read it even though I'm quite convinced I won't finish it in time. It's so thick!!

And on top of my studying, I cleaned my grandmothers house. It's was quite tough actually. It seems as though she has no air conditioning what so ever! But it was nice doing her a favor. And I got some money, really I didn't want them because I just wanted to help her, but at the same time I need money so I took it anyway. I'm using it to buy a new piercing jewelry. I'm planning on going there tomorrow and let them have a look on the healing and let them help me replace the jewelry. Maybe I'll get a red stone, I've been thinking about it and my friend S always think the one I have is red, so.
   And while I'm in the city I might as well look for a swimsuit. I've been checking a little on the internet but I haven't really found anything yet. And today, when I companied my mother looking for a new bike I snuck in to a clothing store for like two seconds. I saw a cute bikini, white with black stripes. I don't know what it costs or anything but if I see it again tomorrow I'll definitely have a look.

It's really hard for me to be in clothing stores right now. Cause normally I shop a little every month, since I always have money that I don't use in any other way anyway. But now, when I'm saving everything that comes in I can't buy anything! It's really hard. Cause I want new clothes, new shoes, new accessories. But I'm restraining my self by love so I'll make it through. But the bikini (and maybe some lingerie) I really need so I'm excuses this time.

And I've been thinking. About this job situation, it's really no emergency or anything anymore, but I've been thinking about maybe cleaning peoples houses. I can put up some advertisements and stuff. Maybe?

So my father and I went to the golf course and played a few holes. Considering my lack of focus and motivation it went well. It felt stabile. But the lack of colour on the golf course was depressing. No green spots were to be found on the whole course! The grass was even and way better than you can expect this early in the season. But a little green! Hello? That isn't too much to ask for, is it? It'll be here soon, I know, but it still wasn't fun.

So I got back home and felt the need to really push myself so I went out running. I didn't run that far, and not fast at all. But I was really tired, indicating that I should run more often. And I really came face to face with why it is I don't smoke, I couldn't proceee my dreams if I did, cause it makes it so hard to breath when you're exercising. So I will not, as I promised a certain person. Oh, you missed my crave for nicotine? Well, I was really stressed and wanted to smoke. But I got the support I needed not to do it.

Well, I will write tomorrow. I promise, even though I might not have anything to write. I'm thinking about going to my grandmothers to help her clean her house. (I sound like such a good granddaughter, haha)